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I recently read an article discussing how to deal with running into an Ex. It is a big world, but sooner or later you just end up running into old crushes, past flames, forgotten one-night-stands and lovers cast aside. The question is, how are you going to deal with seeing this person again?

The article in question suggested the following seven tips: make the first move, don’t bring up the negative past, accept mutual embarrassment, stay sober, remember the good times, use humor and opening set rules with each other. These points are safe and can make the incident more comfortable to deal with. Read the article and make your own call.

I however feel there should be more to this situation than just playing it safe. From my experience, the minute you recognize an old lover, there are three routes that you immediately can take: Ambivalence (I don’t care what you do), Rekindle (Give it another go) or Disgust (make ‘em suffer). I have a few suggestions and phrases for dealing with an Ex depending on which route you choose:

Ambivalence

Be Self-Absorbed – If you don’t care about this other person, might as well talk about yourself. “I am awesome” or “I just got a promotion at work” or “I’m dating a super model now.”

Make It Short – Don’t hang around. You two obviously split for a reason, so don’t stick around long enough to remember why. “This was fun! I’m going to leave now.” or “I’m late for an appointment. Good to see you.”

Plead Ignorance – Pretend not to know who this person is. I shoddy memory is often your best friend. “Who are you again?” or “I think you have yourself mistaken for someone I knew.”

Rekindle

Thinking Of You – If you are trying to revive an old relationship, always say “Wow, I was just thinking about you the other day“, even if you weren’t. It’s OK to lie in this situation.

What’s My Name – People LOVE to hear their own names spoken aloud. “It’s great to see you, Bob!” or “Julie, how have you been?” This only works if you remember their name.

Contact Info – If you really do want to rekindle this flame, make sure you know how to reach this person. “Do you still live over on 5th Street?” or “I switched cell phones recently; what’s your number now?”

One More Time – Make sure that you don’t let more time slip by before you see this person again. Schedule that next meeting. “Would you like to have dinner with me?” or “I am going out later. Would you like to join me?”

Disgust

Remember The Naughty – Try to remember what this person looked like naked. Bring up what kind of lover they were. Talk openly about it. Make it uncomfortable as possible. “Do you still cuss like a truck driver in bed?” or “You had the best breasts ever!”

Flaws – Point out their imperfections. “Do you still snore really bad? That was really annoying.” or “Did you even get that mole removed from your butt? That thing used to stare at me during sex.”

Their Stuff – Tell this person about all thing you still have of theirs; whether it was given to you or you just didn’t return it. Stolen items are icing on the cake. “I still have your Van Halen jean jacket in my closet.” or “I sold your engagement ring to pay for my new car. You had expensive taste!”

Scare ‘Em – Has that restraining order finally expired? Maybe it is time you remind them why the court order was put in place. Remind them why you broke up in the first place. You don’t ever want that again. Make them think you aren’t stable. “You know, I still have a key to your apartment. I gave you back yours, but I had a copy made. I like to watch you while you are sleeping” or “Our supply closet at work smells like you. I get so turned on now when I see a highlighter” or “I still masturbate to pictures of you“.

Ex’s are just a fact of life. You are in control whether you want it to just go away, want to start it back up or want them to really feel the sting. Sometimes destiny brings you face-to-face again.

How do you deal with an Ex?

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