Ask DaVe – Customer Support?
Vinnie from Dayton asks, “Dear DaVe, Why is it women seem to think being a bitch to customer service reps works over being polite like most men?”
It is funny that you asked this question. Today I had the privilege of needing to call technical support for a replacement part at my 9-to-5. It was a pleasure dealing with the automated call-router. What the hell ever happened to “Press 1 for service, press 2 for sales….”??? Now, everything is “Say ‘Service’ for technical support”. I just want to push a button. Why can’t I just push a button? Instead my coworkers stare at me like I’m a moron yelling ‘Service” into the telephone receiver.
I like to try out different accents when dealing with voice recognition systems. “What was that? I did not understand your response. Please try again.” If you have time, these are fun to play with.
“Thank you for holding. Our support specialists are still busy. Please hold and you will be ‘PASSED’ the next support specialist” PASSED??? What the Hell?!??! This automated message repeated itself over three dozen times over a period of about 10 minutes (which is about once ever 15 seconds). I feel like I’ve been PASSED around like a sophomore high school cheerleader that has slept with the entire starting defensive line.
By the time I had been passed around like a five dollar hooker, I finally got a actual technician on the phone; my new friend Carlos. Of course, calling from an American company to an American company of course I ended up with a Costa Rican. I think Carlos was relatively new because he sure didn’t know where to look things up in his system. 45 minutes later, I have my part being shipped to me tomorrow.
But what did we learn here? I never once lost my patience nor did I make any snide remarks to Carlos, my new friend. Why is that? Why did I not go off on his ass for being slow and inadequate? Well Vinnie, you’ve stumbled into one of the key differences between men and women. When men bitch and complain, the quality of service they get goes way down or they often don’t get what they want at all. When women complain they finally get the service they want.
I’d recommend the men try to be nastier to those in service positions. I’d be curious to see if it catches them off-guard. Women should try to be nicer and more patient and we’ll see where that gets ya.
Why do you think this difference exists? Obviously this doesn’t hold true in all cases, but do you think it holds true in most situations? Tell me what you think.
Then he would easily slip into a tirade about “let me punish him, your honor” as he vaulted over the half-walls of the jury box. “Prison’s too good for him!” He probably wouldn’t say much after that. He’d just growl and smash things. Would the court room stenographers type things like *** Jury foreman then scoops up the defendant and body slams him to ground. *** Defendant moans in pain ***
Along the same A-Team theme, if he wasn’t dead, 
Well Joe, thanks for asking this question. I’ve held alot of jobs in my years, but none of them have been overly “morbid”. I classify morbid as dealing an unsettling amount with death. One might thing of some obvious answers to this question. I am hear to set you straight.
Paranormal Investigators regularly try to stir up the dead and other supernatural activities. Originally popularized by The Ghostbusters movie, there has been a recent resurgence in cable television. There are no less than five shows on currently about the paranormal. These people feed upon other peoples fear of the unknown afterlife. Ultimately, this profession is more about *cough cough* science and entertainment. Profession Debunked – not the most morbid.
The Grief Counselor is one of the most difficult professions. Not only do you have to be around death, but typically it is everyone you meet professionally. Whether its a car accident, cancer, air plane crash or daredevil stunt gone wrong, it is your job to help someone through their particular tragedy. I’m sure there are dim flickers of success when your client stops thinking of the tragedy tied to the past four professions, but ultimately that person will never forget and is really just an empty shell of acceptance. Morbid, but ultimately more sad, despondent, grief-stricken and forlorn. 
Ultimately The Most Morbid Professions in the World is an 
I recently was comparison shopping for a home owners insurance policy. It never hurts to see if another companies rates are lower or their protection is better. While I was on the phone getting a quote, the sales woman (Sherri, she had a nice sultry voice) tried to interest me in some of the other policy types. She offered me life insurance (term and whole-life), short term disability insurance, rental property insurance, auto insurance and a whole mess of other insurance types. By the end of the conversation, I was considering flood and boat insurance (even though I don’t own a boat nor do I live any where near water). To say the least, I resisted and decided not to get the floody-boat-renty insurance package.
After I hung-up the phone, I started to wonder about what else they could insure me with. I’ve heard stories of dancers insuring their legs or models insuring their faces, but what about us common folk? I would think that a few special requests might be useful if we knew this were an option. Here is a list of coverages that I think insurance companies should offer:
socialism Buddha why can’t we all just buy the world a coke” Bullshit. You are covered if you are assaulted by the smell of unwashed hemp-made clothes and dreadlocks while stuck in line at amusement parks, the DMV, waiting for the bus, at the public library or in ANY coffee house.
and special compensations for poor sexual performances by either you or your partner. Available to you will be educational classes, delay creams, adult toys and “alternative partners” to help get back into that coveted “Good Sex” category.
