FupDuckTV

We have a new blog segment here at FupDuckTV.com called “Ask DaVe”. Ask DaVe is an advice and Q&A column for all of our readers. I will do my best to answer all of your questions.If you don’t know what to do, what my opinion about something or want to know something about me, please write to me at FupDuckTV[at]gmail[dot]com.

Shelly from French Lick, Indiana asks:”Where is the strangest place u have hooked up during work?”

Thank you for the question, Shelly. I have held alot of jobs in many different career fields.I have worked inside and outside jobs, physically demanding and mentally demanding jobs, blue collar and white collar jobs.

For those of you who don’t know, Hooking Up is a way of saying intimate physical contact with another person; typically more than just a single kiss. In recent surveys, 12% of people admit to have had sex at work and 38% of those in a committed relationship met their partner at work. Despite strict corporate sexual-harassment policies, hookups happen on the job.

I could tell you the story about when I was working as the back-drive-side-tire-guy for Ricky Martin’s NASCAR Pit-crew. Me and the fuel girl hooked up on the hood of Ricky’s car before the Springfield 400. Ricky crashed into the wall that race. He blamed the crash on “Butt Prints” on his windshield.

I could also tell you the story about doing it on the roof of a 17-story building in downtown Spartansburg IL. I was installing a new satellite dish for the hair salon on the 5th floor when I ran into the HVAC chick. We made sweet love mid-day on the roof of the Purina Dog Chow building.

But Shelly, the strangest place I’ve hooked up at work was the backroom of the flower shop at the Landscaping & Nursery place I worked at. It was a small room with lots of clutter. The close-quarters led to multiple hookups, but nothing scandalous other than the location.

I sure some of you have some good hook-up stories. Please let us know where is the strangest place you have hooked up at work.

Tags: Ask DaVe by DaVe
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Midd13m4n really likes words. I actually enjoy writing, and particularly enjoy listening to talk radio. There is a strange beauty to language, particularly my native tongue of English. I have been known to argue semantical minutia for hours. As with most word-people, there are some words that really, really bug me. Yes, this is a common riff, notably performed by George Carlin or Dennis Miller or even Howard Stern, so it makes me feel better knowing that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

The words that most commonly irritate the hell out of me are the delicate, politically correct replacements. Perhaps it is the additional syllables, or the attempt to speak euphemistically, but any substitutes tend to sounds far more repulsive than the words they replace. Note: this is not to be confused with the “toddler-talk replacements” used to scrub profanity from one’s speech, which are usually just cute, funny, or both.

Take the word “shit” for example; “shit” is a much, much less offensive word than “fecal matter”. “Fecal matter” really sounds disgusting and repulsive. A “bowel movement” paints a similarly dark picture. Please do not use either of those in my presence – if you mean “shit”, please say “shit”. Otherwise, don’t say shit.

The word “fuck” is another word that has many, many substitutes. The word “copulation” makes my skin crawl, as does “coitus”, and “intercourse” must simply be removed from the English language. The concept of “having sex” is okay if you’re trying to keep the conversation PG, I suppose. But “making love”? – yeah, call me cynical, but like THAT ever really happens. Say what you mean, and mean what you say!

“Slacks”, “blouse”, and “undergarments” are a waste of time when “pants”, “shirt”, and “panties” or “briefs” or “boxers” will do just fine. And don’t even get me started on WMD (weapons of mass distruction) or IED (improvised explosive devices)… Yeah, and an insurgent is last decade’s guerilla, which are both just soldiers in my book.

Let me know if there are any words that really bother you – share your pain!

And drink, imbibe, quaff, consume, or knock back more!

Tags: Rant by Midd13m4n
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For some of us, there is nothing better than having a long morning to enjoy in bed under the covers.  for others, nothing more heart-warming than climbing back into a bed that your lover has just slid out of.  There is a body heat generated warm spot that just makes the bed feel extra cozy.  You could just stay there all day. 

Unfortunately more often than not, a lingering warm spot is NOT a good thing.  It is one thing when you stumble on that warm spot from your spouse or lover, but it is completely different when you find lingering warmth from anyone else.  Lingering hot spots often come with a warmthy wetness… an odd concoction of sweat and unnatural humility.  You don’t get wet, but you feel it and it doesn’t feel good.  Here are a couple of the worst examples that I have personally unknowingly stumbled upon:

Coworker’s chair / table – I typically working in a cubicle and conference environment and often people are barrowing other people’s chairs for work conversations.  Unfortunately, you will sit back down in your chair and unbeknownst to you a coworker had been occupying your chair while you were gone and the seat was unexpectedly warm.  It just gives you the heebie-jeebies and makes your skin crawl.  You want to pop right up and hose down your seat.  Even worse, finding that warm spot on your desk, specially right where your arms rest on the table.  Bleck!!!!  Someone has to have some unnaturally warm forearms to warm up your desk that way.  Eww!

Airport & Airplane seats – Airplanes and airports are another example of too many strangers sharing the same space.  Airport are a wonderful place to experience other cultures as they cross your path on their way to different destinations.  Unfortunately, many of the other cultures (and even our own) don’t maintain the same level of body hygiene.  Falling prey to the unnatural warm spot in an airplane or airport can just ruin your whole vacation.  It is best not to think about how many other people have occupied that seat over time.  The warm spot is a vivid and unwelcome reminder.

Toilet seats – Quite possibly one fo the most disturbing things you might ever have to deal with in life… The unnaturally warm toilet seat.  Someone else’s bare bum was occupying that same seat.  “OH G0D, was it clean?  Was it hairy?  Was there lice, craps, other thingssss…??!?!?” Typically you don’t want to have to worry about these things when you are out in public and in need of the facilities.  Even if you use one of those seat covers, you sometimes can still feel the body heat right through that cheap piece of paper.

I suggest giving all seats a break between occupants.  From my observations, the amount of body heat produced is relative to mass of the occupant.  I have come up with a rule of thumb for avoiding the lingering warm spot:  Let the seat breath for 5 minutes for every 50 pounds of the last occupant.  For example: If a 100 pound woman gets up from a chair, in 10 minutes that chair will have returned to room temperature and will be safe from the lingering warm spots.

Have you ever experiened lingering warmth?  Leave a comment and let us know your story.

Tags: Rant by DaVe
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In light of last week’s Baseball All Star game at Yankee stadium, are there any other opinions (other than mine, of course) about the best stadiums (major league; there’s too many minor league venues to consider) to watch a game at? I’m not talking about which has the best beer selection, best prices, most interesting food choices. This is about the best baseball experience. My personal favorites are Busch Stadium in St. Louis, Wrigley Field in Chicago, and Camden Yards in Baltimore. These are 3 stadiums where the fans are totally into the game (STL and Chi-town) or the stadium is perfect for watching a great game (STL and Bal-mer). I’ve been to the Tiger’s new park in Detriot, the Jake in Cleveland (no, I refuse to call it Progressive Field), RFK (no longer used by the Nationals), Comiskey in Chicago, Kauffmann in KC, old Three Rivers, old Riverfront in Cincinnati, the Metrodome, and Fenway. I refused to go to Yankee Stadium and Shea when I had the chance. I guess you could call me a hater… Of the places I’ve been, the worst was old Riverfront and the Metrodome. Those places have no personality and luke-warm fan interest… Kinda like the latest iteration of Guns N’ Roses.

Who else has an opinion? What say you?

Drink more!!!

Tags: Rant by Midd13m4n
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For some reason I find this picture insanely hysterical.  Whenever someone sorta ticks me off or kind of annoys me, I’ll make that face and grumble “Bitch Stole My Fish!”  It makes me feel soooo much better.

Tags: Images by DaVe
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There are lots of things going on behind the scenes at FupDuckTV this fine Monday. This past weekend was Lebowski fest, and DaVe, CameraManMike, and I survived (barely). We would like to take this opportunity to thank the people of the lovely city of Louisville for showing us a great time. We made some new friends (Hopefully, they are reading this now – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! That means you: Mary at Cumberland Brews, Jeff & Scott at Bluegrass Brewing Co., Erin, Steve, Tom, Phil, Lisa, Jackie Treehorn, the Dude (all of ‘em), and many others!) and we tasted some new beers…

Which leads me to the point: BEER REVIEWS. DaVe, CameraManMike, and I will be posting beer reviews (hopefully sooner than later)… I am in the process of building the format so it will be a plug-n-play sort of thing, but more importantly, it will be uniform. Since the folks at Cumberland Brews and Bluegrass Brewing Co. allowed us to sample all their beers (9 and 12 respectively!!!), they will be reviewed first. If you are ever in the Louisville, KY, area, do yourself a favor, and stop by and pay them a visit!

And one last topic: as a former resident of St. Louis, I am mourning the death of Anheuser-Busch. True, I have never been a fan of AB, but they deserve a great deal of respect, and they hold a huge place in the hearts of the residents of St. Louis. Perhaps this will be another opening for microbreweries to sweep in and capture the minds, hearts, and livers of people everywhere. What do you think?

Drink more!!!

Tags: Rant by Midd13m4n
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