FupDuck – Episode 6
SHOW NOTES – Episode 6
SHOW NOTES COMING SOON
DaVe’s Notes:
BEER -
FUPDUCK STORY -
FUPDUCK STORY -
MUSIC -
MOVIE -
M!dd13m4n’s Notes:
BEER -
FUPDUCK STORY -
FUPDUCK STORY -
MUSIC -
MOVIE -
Other topics discussed
FupDuckTV
Social commentary for the masses.
Dis-Bears
These lesser known line of plush animals are coming to toy stores Christmas 2008…
- Anthrax Bear – Meet Anthrax Bear! This loveable guy has been hanging out with sick and infected cows. Don’t let the skull and crossbones tattoo on his tummy fool you, he’s all about the love. Anthrax Bear is filled with talcum powder instead of cotton stuffing. When you give him a hug, you will be rewarded with a clowd of white powder… Make contamination fun with Anthrax Bear. *WARNING* Anthrax Bear may actually contain anthrax spores.
- Biker Bear - This is the toughest Teddy Bear you will ever own! Dressed in leather chaps and covered with biker symbols, this Dis-Bear will ride his chopper into your heart. But, don’t ever hug Biker Bear cause bikers don’t hug (and he’s liable to pull a knife on you). Learn the secret-biker-handshake to open the secret-stash compartment for hiding your weed. This bear is actually made from real black bear skins. *WARNING* Biker Bear may actually pull knives on children (and effeminate men).
- Crooked Cop Bear - This bear can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Just keep those horse blinders on his eyes, a brother in the mob and a wad of cash in his pocket makes this bear the life of the party! I bet your friends, Mr Franklin, can make him look the other way. *WARNING* Crooked Cop Bear is an actual officer of the law and has been known to plant evidence. (Watch for Internal Affiars Cop Bear during Christmas of ‘09)
- Stripper Bear – This Dis-bear has all the makings of a top lawyer if she she can only pay her way through law school. But instead of making tuition payments, she is saving up for more “stuffing”. This bear has been shaved bare and will actually dance on a pole. Stripper Bear has been enhanced to smell like a real stripper (A fine mix of baby powder, cheap mall perfume, sweat and glitter (yes, glitter has a smell)). *WARNING* Stripper Bear has been known to become addicted to narcotics. If stripper Bear becomes addicted to narcotics, please return to the manufacturer and we will rush a Strung-out Junky Prostitute Bear to you at no extra charge.
- Co-dependent Bear - Are you tired of being alone and being unable to count on anyone important in your life to be there when you most need them? Co-dependent Bear is just for you. It is covered with velcro™ so it will never have to leave your side. Don’t leave….. please! *WARNING* Please don’t leave Co-dependent Bear alone. If left alone too long, please return to the manufacturer and we will rush a Suicide Bear to you at no extra charge.
- Rock-Star Bear - A needle in the arm, white powder under its nose, bottle of whiskey in its hand, a torn black T, spiked purple hair… guitar is optional. Do I detect a bit of vomit on that T-shirt? This loveable Dis-Bear has been chemically coated to smell just like sweat, vomit and whiskey. Your kids will say, “Wow! It’s just like being at the after-party!” *WARNING* Rock-Star Bear may try to sleep with your girlfriend.
- Cubicle Bear – This loveable Dis-Bear is dressed in a business suit with a tie that is just alittle too tight around its neck. Cubicle Bear is securely packaged in a cardboard cubical and comes with a delightful red swingline stapler. Unfortunately, the bear can not be removed from is packaging…. ever! This Dis-Bear is a delightful addition to anyone’s cubicle. *WARNING* Cubicle Bear may quit if exposed to natural sunlight.
- Frat Boy Bear - He comes with a 6-pack of cheap beer, cheap sunglasses and no pants. When you squeeze his belly, he chants “Chug Chug Chug”. *WARNING* Please keep Frat Boy Bear away from your daughters and your liquor.
- Strung-out Junky Prostitute Bear – SJPB just needs a taste to get her by for now… Just a taste. SJPB has seen better days, but still needs your love (and money). As long as you got the money or the goods, SJPB will love you all night long. SJPB comes with torn fishnet stockings and a crack pipe. *WARNING* Not responsible for any STD’s contracted from SJPB.
- Suicide Bear – What better way to say you’ve given up all hope than with Suicide Bear. This cuddly critter is just one step from ending it all. The homemade noose around his neck and bottle of perscription pills in hand should be enough, but just incase, we’ve given this loveable guy a working handgun tucked into its waistband. Don’t try to talk him out of it because he’s likely enough to turn this into a murder-suicide at the blink of a depressed eye. Goodbye Cruel World!!! *WARNING* Some Suicide Bears have been known to “try to take you with them”.
FupDuck – Episode 5
SHOW NOTES – Episode 5
SHOW NOTES COMING SOON
DaVe’s Notes:
BEER -
FUPDUCK STORY -
FUPDUCK STORY -
MUSIC -
MOVIE -
M!dd13m4n’s Notes:
BEER -
FUPDUCK STORY -
FUPDUCK STORY -
MUSIC -
MOVIE -
Other topics discussed
Underwear – Part 2
Men: tighty-whiteys are for 12 y/o boys, and girls know it…
Men, we have a variety to choose from as well. Let’s look at some of your choices… the brief, the boxer, the boxer-brief, the thong and anything that is pouch or pocket based. All are acceptable in there own personal choice aspect (with a couple exceptions). Here is the break-down.
The Brief – This is the american tradition. Most every guy has worn these at some point or another in his life. The brief is not my thing, but I understand the appeal. Guys, if there is a chance that anyone other than yourself or your momma is going to see them, at least make sure they are clean. Underwear is relatively cheap… get some new ones. If there is a good chance that someone else is going to see them, consider wearing a different colored set. You can’t go wrong with green, red or blue.
The Boxer – I used to wear boxers through high school and college. After competitively swimming all through high school, I couldn’t wear anything that ‘held me too tightly’. Boxers provided that free flop feeling that I was needing. The nice thing about boxers is that they come in tons of different prints. If you are feeling sexy, go black silky with red hearts. Feeling funny, put some loony toons in your pants. Added boxer bonus: your girlfriend looks dead-sexy wearing your boxers. AGain, keep those things clean and stain free.
The Boxer-Brief – The best of both worlds: the longer look of a boxer with the hold of a brief. Women seem to like a guy in boxer-briefs. The only bad thing about the boxer brief is the leg creeping up in pants; kinda like a leg-wedgey.
The ‘Male’ Thong – Unless you are a stripper, don’t do the thong. If you are stripper, don’t bring your work home with you. There is one exception to this, if your girlfriend / lover likes you in a thong. If this is the case, wear it only when she is going to see you in it. It’s just not cool. (I know this from personal experience)
Pouch or Pocket Front – Some of you may not know what these underwear are. They are a any other type of underwear except they have a special way they are stitched in the front. The pouch or pocket usually lifts or lines certain import things to a more eye catching and presenting fashion. It’s not padding or false advertising, but it bring things more the the foreground where it is more noticeable. I have recently taken to wearing these from time to time and they are awesome. Ladies, my eyes are up here… LOL!
The things is, not many people are going to get to see your underwear. But as long as you feel sexy in your underwear, they are serving their higher purpose. Hell, a couple well-placed pieces of duct tape could serve the primary function of underwear, anti-chaffing. It is time for us all to transcend out of the narrow view of underwear.
TECHNO-WEENIE
(Entecnicas Weenieosis)
Although predominantly indigenous to Southern California, the techno-weenie can be found throughout the United States. The techno-weenie is quite fond of Chinese and Italian foods, but tends to mainly subsist on Mountain Dew and Skittles. Because techno-weenies tend not to mate, or only mate late in life, they entertain themselves by rooting among technical facts, which they store in their pouches. The techno-weenie will stockpile and store these facts until it encounters another techno-weenie, at which time the two creatures do battle to see which creature has collected more data. Techno-weenies can be domesticated to a certain extent, however they remain deeply rooted in their own world where they usually exist.
CAUTION: Do not extend hands, feet, or egos into the cubical area of a techno-weenie. The techno-weenie can have a viscous bite due to a severe lack of social consciousness.
DaVe is of the sub-species Gadget Geek. M!dd13M4n is of the different sub-species Theory Gremlin.
Drink more!!!
Underwear – Part 1
After multiple conversations about this topic with multiple female friends, it is time for this to be said: Ladies… Ditch the white cotton granny-panties!!!I’m making it my personal goal to eliminate granny-panties and tighty-whiteys (everyone needs a goal). These utilitarian throw backs to the 1960’s have outlasted their purpose. Even the 70’s had Underoos. Fashion has moved on in leaps and bounds. It is time for your underwear drawer to catch up to 2007 (or at least 1997).
Women: granny-panties are for grandma’s that don’t want to feel sexy… That’s it.
Here is the deal. Ladies, you have a wide variety of choices to choose from. Let’s look at some of your choices… the brief, the bikini cut, the boy-shorts and the thong. There are plenty more options, but I’ll save those for another day and a different audience. 
The Brief – Yes, the granny-panty is a variety of brief, BUT granny’s are the ‘white cotton’ variety focusing solely on comfort. If you must wear a brief, please at least consider a different material other than cotton. And try some different colors… Unless you are wearing thin white pants, get colorful. Blues, greens, reds… You’ve got a whole rainbow to choose from.
The Bikini Cut – Very similar to the brief, but just different enough to be unique. Those high-cut string sides can turn average into worth that second look. Yummy! Satin, silk or lace look really sexy in a bikini cut undies.
The Boy-Shorts – I’m not sure the true technical name of these kinda of underwear, but they are damn sexy. It shows off the curves without giving up that hold and comfort. You girls look good in these. These are a good option for ladies of all shapes and sizes, even with alittle extra junk-in-the-trunk (yeah, I said it). You can’t go wrong with these.
The Thong – Ok, I know this style is not for every women, but they look damn good on you. Alot of panties are going to ride up and give you a wedgey anyways, might as well not have all that material back there when it happens. The added plus of thongs, No visible panty line (who am I kidding, I can even see a thongs pantyline. It’s just 10x sexier).
All of these choices are fine. I’m sure each woman and every woman likes to take pride in the way they look. You like to dress-up when you go out clubin’ or on a date. You put on make-up and smell nice. Your underwear should be taken into consideration too. Look good, feel good on both the inside and the outside and all layers in-between.
Rule of Thumb: If it has to be white, include a little lace. Lace does not have to be itchy to look sexy. Lace shouldn’t be itchy. If it is, buy a different brand.
Often, because of the style of women’s jeans (low backs), your undies can have a tendancy to pop out the back. Some have told me that this is embarrassing and they do what they can to keep it from happening. I’m going to let you ladies in on a little secret… We like seeing it pop out the top. It is sexy! This is one of the main reasons you should wear sexy undies. We want to see peeks of what you are wearing. It’s like you are letting us in on the secret, even if it is just briefly. But… when you are standing normally, we shouldn’t see anything. When you bend… I wanna see a flash of color. I wanna feel lucky that you shared that experience with me.
The things is, not many people are going to get to see your underwear. But as long as you feel sexy in your underwear, they are serving their higher purpose. Hell, a couple well-placed pieces of duct tape could serve the primary function of underwear, anti-chaffing. It is time for us all to transcend out of the narrow view of underwear.