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This past weekend, I have the opportunity to see The Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock. It has been a long time since I have seen a full theater (I obviously did not see Twilight: New Moon on opening night). People were even stumbling in late looking for two seat together.

The movie is based on the real life heartwarming rags-to-riches story about Michael Oher who currently plays Offensive Tackle for the Baltimore Ravens NFL Football Team. The story finds Michael Oher as a nearly-homeless young teen attending a private high school through unusual circumstances. Michael gets taken in buy an affluent Memphis TN family, the Tuohy’s, and slowly becomes part of their family. The movie is sort of a Big Black Little Orphan Annie with Muscles. Trust me, I’m not giving away the story. The previews do that for you.

Michael Oher is played by Quinton Aaron. His performance was decent, but felt forced at times. Regardless, I think we will continue to see more of Quiton Aaron.

Sandra Bullock plays the strong willed sociality with a big heart, stong sence of responsibility and tough love. I am confident that she will get nominated for an Oscar for her protrailal of Leigh Anne Tuohy, but I don’t think she will win. Television commercials for the film are saying “it is the best performance of [Bullock's] career”. That is like saying she’s the smartest kid on the short bus. I put her acting calabier with that of Hugh Grant (who she has appeared with in Two Week Notice). Mildly funny and can make you laugh, but it won’t change your life. There is one thing I will give Sandra Bullock. She looks very attractive in this film. The high society blonde soccer mom was really working for me.

On Sunday, I saw an interview with Michael Oher talking about his story. He admitted that the screenwriter took some creative liberties with his story. Michael felt the film understated his “football IQ” during his high school years. Sometimes you have to bend the truth for entertainment. After seeing the movie and seeing interviews with the real Michael Ower, he genuanely comes across as a grounded and likeable guy. He currently is the first round draft pick

Overall, The Blind Side is a feel good movie. I don’t think it will be life-changing for anyone, but who knows.

Tags: Movie Review by DaVe
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Over the long weekend, I watching Michael Keaton in the 1996 film Multiplicity. Michael Keaton’s character clones himself to give himself more time to do the things he wants to do in life. Before long, there are four Michaels running around causing all sorts of problems for themselves. Despite being completely devoid of any realism, the movie has some really funny parts and makes you think “What if”.

Here we are 13 years later and cloning technology seems to be everywhere. To date, no one has publicly cloned a human, but tons of other plants and animals are genetically cloned everyday. The clones we know about today are genetically the same, but they have to start from scratch. Their timelines are separate an there is no memory sharing.

In Multiplicity, they were able to make Xerox-style copies of human. They are the same age, they have the same memories up to the cloning process and they full on coexist with the original. They are the same person.

The movie begs the question, “What would I do with an exact clone of myself?” Would the clone be a subservient slave to me or would my clone be as pig headed and independent as I am?

Instantly I would have the “poke poke” test (a.k.a. “Are you real? Wow, This can’t be possible” test) and then the 20 questions test (things know one else would know; “69 Dude!” (Bill & Ted reference)). Once I was satisfied with the authenticity of the clone, I would have to discuss the mundane stuff such as which days I would work and which days the clone would work. Here is a list of things I would do next:

• Learn a Magic trick where I teleport myself from location to another. Magicians use look-a-likes. I would use the ultimate look-a-like, an actual clone.



• I would buy matching outfits for my clone so that we could pretend to be Tomax and Xamot from G.I.Joe’s Nemesis, COBRA.
• I would find a women that has a thing for twins. Despite the potential awkwardness of the situation, we would have our way with her including the London Bridge and Eiffel Tower.
• Crash a twins convention and then insist that we are not twins.
• Hunt down the Olsen twins and find out the secret to their success.
• I would make bar bets with people about running around the building or something similar.

Sooo, when the novelty of having a clone wears off, is getting rid of it murder or is it just setting nature right?

Tags: Movie Review, Rant by DaVe
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I had the opportunity to see Plan 9 From Outer Space District 9 last night. It was an interesting take on class-based prejudice and racism. District 9 is a blatant allegorical story paralleling South Africa’s apartheid. Instead of oppression of blacks in South Africa, the aliens were being oppressed.

The director, Neill Blomkamp, has a few other films under his belt, but District 9 is the first writer screenplay credit to his name. Blomkamp was born in the setting of District 9, Johannesburg, South Africa. Nothing like filming a movie in your home town and getting back to your roots.

Living and growing up in America’s Midwest, I only know what I’ve read about Apartheid and the South African government’s race and classed separation policies. My knowledge of the topic is “Apartheid is bad and Nelson Mandela ended it.” (I actually know quite a bit more about this topic, but I really don’t want to go into a history lesson).

I thought the “Prawns” (slang term for the aliens) looked great. The alien weapons and equipment reminded me of something you might find in a video game, but had a feel of realism to them. The film’s long-shot special effects reminded me of The Death Star over San Francisco (which was done just with a DV Camera, After Effects and Final Cut). Don’t get me wrong, the effects were excellent. I just find it amazing that the films budget was ~$30 million; a stark comparison to Transformers 2’s budget of $200 million.

It has already been rumored that two more movies have been Green-Lit, but no official word has been release as of yet. I have provided a few possible sequel titles for the follow on movies:

District 10 – The Rise of The Prawns
District 10 – You Humans are Sooooo Screwed
District 10 – Pay Back’s a Bitch
District 10 – We Saved the Coolest Weapons for the Sequel
District 10 – Mmmmm, Cat Food
District 10 – The Secrets of the Tentacles
District 10 – Huma-Xeno-Sexual
District 10 – “If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It” staring the Governator!
District 10 – The Different Colored Bugs Mean Something
District 10 – All Power-Armor, All The Time!

One spoiler I will share… Everyone agrees, Nigerians are evil and they will try to eat you. Stupid Nigerians….

Tags: Movie Review by DaVe
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I had the chance to see an early screening of Oscar winner Steven Soderbergh’s latest project, The Girlfriend Experience. The film offers a voyeuristic view into the world of high-end prostitution.

Apparently, in the escort / call-girl / hooker / prostitution industry, The Girlfriend Experience (TGE) is one of the most sought after client requests. It gives the client the illusion of having a intimate relationship on a boyfriend / girlfriend level. The TGE engagement often doesn’t even include sex; just talking and spending time together.

The film stars Sasha Grey and a whole mess of ‘I’ve-never-heard-of-you-before’s. Sasha does a good job making the jump from porno to feature actress. I’m not sure how far of an acting stretch this was for her, but I actually though she did a decent job. Maybe we’ll be seeing more films with her that don’t include gratuitous sex.

I was disappointed in the movie’s score. The music did very little to enhance the story and it often detracted from the movie. I think it is bad when people ask me, “what’s the deal with this music?”

Steven Soderbergh is an Oscar winning director (Traffic, 2001), but probably best known for Sex, Lies, and Videotape or Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen films. The Girlfriend Experiences comes across as some sort of cinematic experiment for Steven. I speculate that he loves porn and want to get Sasha on his casting-couch. I’m just saying….

The movie is very slow paced and sometimes is hard to follow, but ultimately it grabbed my attention. A day or two later and I am still thinking about the film. The Girlfriend Experience doesn’t even hint at this profession being illegal. You get to see some of the lifestyle of a high-end call-girl, but I bet there are even more ups and downs in the real lifestyle.

Tags: Movie Review by DaVe
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“I know what you’re thinking, Nero, ’cause right now I’m thinking the same thing. Actually, I’ve been thinking it ever since I got here. Why, oh why didn’t I use the blue matter?”

Awww Crap, MotherFup’in piece of Crap’ity Crap-Crap, Shit, Fup, Crap!!!! I’m soooo damn frustrated. How am I supposed to write a decent review of this movie without disclosing too much of the plot…? How am I supposed to decide if I loved it or hated it…? How am I supposed to set aside my love for Star Wars (the sworn enemy of Star Trek) to write an unbiased review…? CRAP!!!

Well, I finally got out of the house and saw J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek this week. It is the latest motion picture from the Star Trek franchise. After five television shows, eleven movies and god knows how many novels, this is what it has come to? This??? A franchise “Restart” is what this is being heralded as. A RESTART??!?!!

J.J. Abrams is most recognized for his directing and production of the television shows Lost and Alias. Admittedly, I am not a Lost fan, but I did enjoy Alias (for a time, until the show seriously jumped the shark (a few different times)).

Star Trek was basicly a combination of Alias and Lost wrapped in old Roddenberry/Shatner Star Trek. Both of those TV shows use a storytelling technique that puts that viewer on edge with an impossible perilous predicament (“Oh god, will he survive?”) and then solve the problem with a unbelievable exciting plot twist (“Oh, he’s his lost brother that we didn’t know existed.”), but then immediately throws out another even more impossible problem (“Oh no, His Brother is a flesh eating space zombie!”). The constant rollercoaster ride gets old after time and the more they do this, the less impact it has by the end of the film.

The sets, scenery and special effects were amazing. They looked real and sliding into their world was made much easier by a well thought-out by the production designer. It held the feel of the original Star Trek television show without coming across as cheesy, seventy’s or nerdy. Industrial, Light and Magic (a George Lucas company) did a great job with the It was a solid updated feel. The one exception was their over-the-top use of Lens Flare. Every scene seemed to have this effect thrown in. I guess someone thought it added depth and impact to different scenes. It was more annoying than anything.

The costume design really bothered me. Old Spook Spock’s Pac-Man head snowsuit actually caused popcorn to shoot out of my mouth. He looked like a Muppet wrapped in leather and fur. The other costumes that bothered me were the Star Fleet shirts. They looked like paint-ball team jerseys without the facemasks. Speaking of facemasks, the hover bike cop’s costume was very cool. It was a cross between Judge Dread and Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe.

The cast is the one thing I found to be amazing (with one lens-flaring exception). Simon Pegg’s portrayal of Scotty was incredible. His performance was little much on the humor, but ultimately a good portrayal of James Doohan. Karl Urban was amazing as a young Dr. Bones McCoy. I actually heard someone say that his character stole the show. Leonard Nemoy has a sizable role in the film and his type-casting still holds true. He breathed new life into Spock. New Spock and New Kirk…. Meh! I felt Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto’s performances were overall rather weak.

Overall it was a Fantastic and Crappy. Let me clarify. It is now been two full days since I’ve seen the movie and I am still torn about my overall take on the movie. Part of me loved the movie and part of me hated it. I can’t decide if I liked it or not. What really bothered me was the tired feel of the “Restart”. I mean seriously, Time Travel and Alternate Realities… These are the things that really dragging down the Star Trek franchise. I guess some originality would have been too much to ask for. Thank god there was no “Q” from The Next Generation.

If you have never seen the original Star Trek television show, none of the other movies, don’t know who Leonard Nimoy is and are fans of Lost and Alias…. you will love this movie.

If you are a fan of Star Trek movies, you probably will like it, but will be kinda disappointed, confused and curious about where this is headed.

If you are a Diehard Star Trek fan, you LOVE this film. Not because it is a good film, but purely because it is Star Trek and your opinion is fully biased.

I wanna know one final important thing…. Who was that hot-piece-of-ass blue-suiter with the full-on hair-erection bun sitting over Kirk’s left shoulder in the final scene? I think I’ve found my latest obsession.

What did you think of the movie? Do you agree or disagree with my review? Let me know. I want to hear from you.

Tags: Movie Review by DaVe
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Well, I got to see The Watchmen on opening day. Let me first start off by saying, I have not read the comic book graphic novel (I know, I’m some sort of superhero heathen). With that being said, I can only comment on the movie. Overall, I was very disturbed and mildly entertained…

The movie was a cross of just about every genre of filmmaking storytelling. At its root, it was a Superhero movie, but then this is where it goes nuts. It is a whodunit murder-mystery, disaster, macabre, film noir, slasher, romance, softcore porn, prison film (I know a missed a few genres represented, but I can’t think of them right now). It was almost too much for one movie. I’m actually disappointed that they didn’t include more comedy hooks (hell, its got a character named The Comedian, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan), but then again the point was to make a movie that sucked all the happiness from the audience. I guess that is its charm and appeal.

The film was visually stimulating and amazingly eye pleasing. The effects were AWESOME. I am predicting that The Watchmen will win an Oscar for special effects or sound (or something).

The only character that I truly enjoyed was “Rorschach”, played by Jackie Earle Haley. He is this psychopath with an inkblot mask. The only thing that makes him a hero vs. a villain is someone in the beginning says “Hey look. He’s a good guy on our team”. I truly enjoyed his character, his acting and role. He was just so intense and a pleasure to watch.

What was the deal with Dr. Manhattan walking around with is dinky little “blue man” hanging out??!? I was a little creeped out about the amount of male nudity in this film. Yeah, most of it was CGI, but it begs the questions… was Dr. Manhattan’s junk taken from a scan of Billy Crudup or was it some animator’s homoerotic digital wet dream.

I was pleasantly surprised by the super-nympho, Silk Specter (Malin Åkerman). She was the super-hero “pass around girl”; Super Slut if you will. I was amazed that her sex scene was so long, so graphic and so nude. That sex scene reminded me of Billy Bob Thornton and Haley Berry in Monster’s Ball, but with super hero costumes (that is not a spoiler, is it?).

Overall I enjoyed the movie but it was not a “WOW, I need to see this again” movie. I realize that I am still thinking about it 24 hours later, which for me is usually a sign of a good film. I am sure that this movie will This movie did take the top box office spot for the weekend and will bring in over $35 million brought in $55.7 million domestically. The true test will be if it is still the #1 film after 3 weeks. My recommendation, see it in the theater but don’t expect to walk out of the theater in a happy mood.

Tags: Movie Review by DaVe
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